im not a mannequin

final exam is just around d corner..
im still here stuck in front of the lappy hoping for a 'tamparan kesedaran tahap gaban' from anyone to bring me back into reality..
its just u know..i need a warm-up!

so,thought of merungkai seribu kesah dlm blog ini..

its not really a kesah..but i suddenly kesah with this thing..
is it me yg tetibe emo or sensitive semacam or is it people around me yg telah mem-pepatungkan i?

okeh,i bukan nak emo2,curse2 or meracau..i just rasa gatal nak tulis on this..

recently,i jadi sgt emo dgn owg sekeliling i..yg sesuka hati mereka cakap apa mereka suka without pikir bout what i feel..baek,i mmg selalu konon2 neutral..i susah nak marah,i tak amik hati tapi..tapi..i da sampai satu tahap where i think i dah xnak jadi diri i yang begitu easy going itu..

i memg sgt open bila ngan my mum and ijan saje..meaning,they're d one yg i akan cakap ape i xpuas ati or ape i xsuka..
but dgn d rest of people i dont have the heart to, sbb i rasa they all dah terbiasa dgn fenomena 'jasmin tidak kesah,die sgt lembot dan dia takkan marah' which now i think its not who i wanna be..bukan i tak suka org kata i baek n easy going tapi i xsuka org gunakan i punye 'easiness' tu untuk pijak and hurt my feelings..

get it?

i dah rimas org suka2 hati nak buat apa kt i
i dah penat org pijak kepala i
i dah benci org gurau sampai xpikir ati i..

all this while,i never take things seriously as others do..org laen maybe da ngamok,merajok tapi i simpan saja..yg jadi tempat i cita,ijan jugak..tak ke sengal tu,ingat ni lagu ku pendam sebuah duka apa..
so i macam nak cuba ubah diri i yg nampak fragile sgt ni tu someone firmer..bukan nak change totally tapi if i tak peduli pasal apa hati i rasa sapa lagi nak peduli..

penat jaga hati orang..
mari jaga hati sendiri pula..

sometimes kita kena dengar apa hati kita kata jugak walaupun otak kte bg warning yg apa kita buat ni kurang bijak..tapi bila hati da berkata2,cuba untuk faham..kita je boleh ubat sakit kat hati kita tu kan?

im just a human being,i got feelings too..